And now, the final step...

I recall a good while ago quoting a favourite amongst travellers:

"to travel is better than to arrive..." 

And yes, during my time here there have been many such moments for me, and overall my trip here has been a journey.

But now it is time for me to return home again.

Home... as a place it has been where I am at any given moment... staying with my sister Annie and her family, this gave me a home out here, also with my other sisters - Istar and Chris; yes, even the boat was my home for those ten testing days - working on the pig farm, where i was welcomed into the home of others and made to feel so very welcome... Home as a feeling of communal being, I have found this in many ways; working at Hohepa, where the community life and being with other young travellers and wwoofers reminded me of my life in the UK... Home was found again in Kaikoura, in a hostel where I could have remained for many more days... Home in these senses of feeling welcomed, I have experienced out here... Home as a feeling of what it is like to really live in a snapshot of Kiwi life; the realities - no central heating, wood burners that exist as the sole heat source in the house, with a wetback for hot water, television watched to a soundtrack of the diesel generator by the back door... cold fingers and toes... Kiwi foodstuffs - all unfamiliar names, "would you like a Milo, Raph..." Pams this, that and almost everything... I have been welcomed so generously out here, taken in and fed, warmed, appreciated... and I have felt settled in all of these places and with the wonderful people whose homes I have shared...

Home... As the place I feel my own... this is now where I am heading, a place and feeling I have not felt during my fairly transient and very dramatic last twelve months... Again, during these times I have been welcomed into places, given a home to share during my tumultuous months; my parents welcoming me home again, taking care of me and supporting me so very generously and kindly; Christmas spent in Dorset with my sisters and family, and my final weeks prior to departure with Gabi in Pennine, whom I am now returning home to, to start the next step of my life with, to create a home and a life together, and to work together... And this is where I will find my home... My home as a place where I settle, where I can welcome others, share my life, and learn once again to share life with another person, my partner... 

Pennine of course is familiar to me, however I will return to a new situation, a new life, new roles and work, and to rekindle and nourish friendships and working relationships. I am very grateful to have been invited to Pennine once again...

And now, as I sit in the airport waiting for check in time, I doubt I can fully reflect on my time here in New Zealand... Perhaps this will be done once I am home, and a further post may follow. But much of the time here has been a personal journey, one undertaken to find my feet once again, to rebuild myself into strength and passion for life and my future... The adventures have been shared through this blog - from the very first days of chainsawing and splitting wood, through building, farming (with more building), gardening (and earthquake drills!), fishing, fishing, fishing... Oh my, the fishing...

And times have been spent with a whole bunch of wonderful people; Annie, Istar and Chris, and their respective families... To have had the opportunity to stay with Annie and Hamish for a total of two and a half months has been amazing... I had time to arrive, quite the shell of the person I am now, and had the opportunity to start building myself up again. To have been able to spend so much time with the children too, I have loved every minute of it, babysitting, taking Fiona to school and back, playing with the boys, and having the time to talk with Annie, to catch up and revisit our childhood times spent together, to talk about our family, just to spend time... A brief visit to see Istar and Nick, and meet their two boys, and of course two weeks with Chris, meeting Kim, and spending time on the boat with them. I really felt that I have shared in all of their lives, experienced snapshots of their lives out here... And in this I feel that I have experienced something that not all travellers or tourists are afforded - a snapshot of Kiwi existence, with the realities and the highs and lows, ins and outs of life here. For Kiwi life is quite different to UK life, New Zealand has surprised me in being more different to the UK than I expected, perhaps more on this in a later post...

I have experienced a small slice of traveller life here too, the man who arrived in Auckland four months ago booking into a single room to afford himself privacy, has transformed slightly into someone who desires the company of others at all times - dorm rooms and hostel lounges and verandas... In total I have spent only twelve nights in hostels here, as well as the three weeks WWOOFing, however I have met a wide range of people, and have become accustomed to speaking to each and every traveller I meet... Some don't wish to talk much, but most will gladly share time and words, mostly the ubiquitous "where are you from, where are you going, what have you seen/done so far, how long are you out here..." but once the traveller greetings are complete, conversations have varied to anything from politics, finance, snowboarding, work, travel (obviously), food, culture, fish (!), tattoos, news, music... Music has accompanied me through most of my time here... My iPod decided to deny me music early on, but most places I have stayed have had a guitar, and often too, a piano. And I have jammed with a variety of musicians, from the Havelock church band, to a banjo-touting Irish fella...

And throughout this whole time I have also been building a new relationship with Gabi, learning how to manage distance and time... This has been the greatest challenge while out here, but I have done it now - we have done it! She waited patiently for me, taking each new challenge on, battling the emotions of each turn, and always coming back to strength. The fishing trip was almost too hard for us both, but we held on... We have lived through emails, texts, Skype and phone calls, now I am returning home and we can start living together for real...

My adventures out here have been amazing, my own personal journey one of awesome discovery and rediscovery, living Kiwi life, briefly, has been a real eye-opener, and I have accomplished far more than I expected or anticipated... I am desperately excited to be returning home, I am also reflective about leaving New Zealand... I do not wish I had accomplished more, nor seen more, for this adventure is complete, and has far exceeded expectations, hopes and desires I had when I flew out.

My trip, perhaps much as Bilbo Baggins's was, has been unexpected for sure, I allowed some of this to be, without planning destinations or timescales, and living often from one day to the next... I welcomed the changes and the new opportunities, places and faces, and allowed things to happen without force...

And now it is time to leave, I will board my plane and bid adieu to this fine country... I thank New Zealand for my experiences and adventures, I will write more about all this - I could fill a small book - at another time...

I thank, with all my heart, my family out here, with whom I have spent wonderful times with, and of course my family back home in the UK too, for supporting me to come here and helping sort out finances and mailing me stuff.

I thank the wonderful WWOOF hosts and workers, for amazing experiences and company.

I thank the travellers for the times spent chatting, laughing, playing music, eating, drinking and sharing experiences.

And I truly thank Gabi for being patient, allowing me this time...

If I have missed you in my Oscar speech, then forgive me... I have not had one bad experience out here, so if I have met you, worked with you or just chatted, then you are held in my gratitude too...

I leave without any regrets, without any bad memories or negative experiences... Sure, there are things I have grumbled about, but these are usually differences, and were never bad experiences... 

Now, with a deep breath of anticipation for home, and a happy sigh for New Zealand, I say farewell...

Ciao - both from New Zealand, as well as to New Zealand...

Humbled by a city...

The date says it all...

So, a couple of days in Christchurch after leaving Tekapo. I must admit I had not thought very much about what to expect... I was aware that the city is under significant reconstruction and development, but I had not thought a great deal about what I might see...

I took a couple of walks round the CBD (central business district), and was very humbled by the remnants left from the earthquake, especially as it was nearly two and a half years ago.

While there is significant building work going on, the corners and windowfronts which still bear the scars of a city hit hard were ever present.

As it was on February 22nd 2011...

A business in tatters, what of the proprietors...

This appeared to have functioned after the earthquake... a makeshift till table with hand-written cardboard point-of-sale was in the corner...

A couple of blocks from here is a temporary city centre, set up from containers; the big name stores revived and alive in what appears to be a quite funky setting.

Furniture still present, but the baristas and customers are elsewhere...

Nouveau-something, but what... This only tells part of the story...

A vibrant injection of colour and life perhaps..?

I was very moved to see a memorial set up opposite the birthing cardboard cathedral, chairs painted white, set up on a patch of grass, to commemorate each person who lost their life in the quake.

Very moving and saddening to see small children's chairs and babies car seats amongst all...

I was very taken by what I have seen today, but do not really know how to place the feelings. I know very little about the event, nor the aftermath. I have heard about whole districts which are uninhabitable, so am not certain whether the reconstruction of the CBD accurately reflects the impact on all the Christchurch residents who were affected...

I have many questions about what I saw, but overall was very moved...

A sobering experience...

Tekapo - is this native-speak for "stunning scenery..."

It seems that I have finally discovered where they hide the winter in NZ; 

Lake Tekapo...

After extricating myself, almost kicking and screaming from perhaps the finest establishment in NZ that is the Albatross in Kaikoura, I left sunshine and 16 degrees and headed south for Tekapo. I arrived to yet more sunshine, but had gladly observed as the temperature gauge in the car dropped towards zero, only slowing as it reached 3 degrees. And with a welcome wind this most likely made the real temperature slip the other side of freezing... Hello Kiwi winter... My evening smokes became measured in seconds as opposed to minutes, and a pair of gloves were quickly found; $5 well spent.

After the Albatross I wasn't expecting much, and I roundly got what I expected little of. Ironic too, that the guitar in the lounge is a very well playing Ibanez when the inhabitants seem completely indifferent to whether I am playing guitar or farting...

But, with a sigh, I cannot expect to be greeted with bohemian revelry at each and every establishment, and have held conversation with a couple of people here... Hmmm... Kaikoura; how far is it really from here..?

My morning coffee - yes, again I was up before the fantail's fart - was enjoyed with a view of yet another crisp morning, replete with clear skies - Alpha Centauri (if my memory serves me correctly) gracing the skies just left of the Southern Cross, and the sky displaying colours my previous artist-existence would have fallen over backwards to create.

I froze my nose to see the lake shore at sunrise, returned to the hostel for a third coffee before buying a healthy 'square meal' breakfast of an English muffin (egg, ham and Kraft cheese slice..?) and a piece of beef lasagne (at least this was genuinely square!). Oh, and another coffee - moccachino of course - rounded up my healthy start-to-the-day, and I drove for Mt. Cook, with Mumford & Sons accompanying my trip...

As I drove on, Mr Mumford was duly ignored as the scenery unfolded before my eyes... I was grateful that the road was almost empty - the white lines were regularly criss-crossed as I gaped in awe at the views, and my gratitude extended to include cruise-control, or I might have found myself at the pleasure of the police as my right foot hit the floor in wonder and disbelief. I would say that 'wow' was replaced by a series of words even the Kiwi radio stations would 'bleep' out, as mountain ranges grew before my eyes, appearing round bends in the road as though I was entering the Sistine Chapel, my eyes feasting on Michaelangelo's masterpiece for the first time.

Breakfast was enjoyed at one such 'wow' place (most likely spelled '**** me sideways'):

FMS... ('wow' in english) isn't it amazing, eh...

Perhaps the greatest such wow moment was as Lake Pukaki revealed itself as I rounded a gentle sweeping bend in the road. As an aside, on my return journey I passed a car in the ditch on this very bend, and would not be surprised if they had too 'wowed' the view a little too much, and surprised themselves in the ditch. No apparent injuries, hence I allow myself to speculate.

The drive itself... well, can you handle any more 'wows' from me before the air turns bluer than the skies I saw... I will leave the expletives behind - they grace pretty much each and every corner I turned today - had I a swear-tin with me and upheld my honesty, I should now be able to stay in ***** hotels, or a higher likelihood would see me driving straight for Chez Albatross; who needs stars when you can have such a constellation of lively and remarkable souls...

Mt. Cook village resembled how I would imagine a showroom if IKEA started selling kit houses... "On your right the SALANDER chalet, or you can choose the BLOMQVIST hut if you like; it goes very well with the WENNERSTROM decking..." And, for 'wows' sake; could I buy a coffee there? No... At least IKEA feed me...

I swiftly departed towards the Tasman Glacier, and swiftly made my first, and only, fail of the day... Not by ignoring the advice to not take a hire car on unsealed icy roads without snow chains (you didn't really read that bit mum...) but by not finding Lake Tasman and the icebergs... Oh dear... I walked for about 30 minutes looking for the glacier, which I found..:

Yes, the dirty bit on the right really is a glacier...

...but I had forgotten that the lake just over the ridge is the lake I mistakenly thought was north of Tekapo, and where I planned to head later... Fail, yes... Epic fail..? You tell me, but most likely... I discovered my misgivings only on return to Tekapo, upon reading in my Lonely Planet and discovering I had been but a stones throw (even a dirty glacial one at that) from exactly where I now wanted to go... I lit the air with plenty of 'wows...'

But - and a but which I firmly believe exonerates my fail (yes, I know it was rather epic) - the drive alone was more than worth it..:

View up the glacial valley towards Lake Tasman...

...and down towards Lake Pukaki.

Yes, it was snowing up there, a few flakes dusted my shoulders too...

Just the colour of Lake Pukaki was worth the drive...

So much blue between the sky and the lakes, I simply had to complement with orange...

Not in a long time have I enjoyed a drive so much. I recalled a journey undertaken to Flamingo Land theme park when I was perhaps 9-10 years old: I always remember the drive there lasting far longer than its ninety-odd minutes, yet the return seemingly passing in the blink of half an hour. This is effect of anticipation and amazement on the outward leg, compared with the reflection of the return, and I experienced such a drive back to Tekapo today. On the outward drive I marked off places to take photos as I drove back, but driving back I had to time and again undertake swift u-turns in the middle of the highway as these places came and went far sooner than anticipated.

I almost missed the turn off for Mt John just before Tekapo as I drove home, well, truth be told I almost missed remembering that there is a cafe up there, and following my complete lack of finding coffee for neither love nor money between Tekapo and Mt Cook and deeming this a genuine emergency I was perfectly within reason to perform a test-perfect emergency stop on highway 8. So, imagine my disappointed to discover that I am not allowed to smoke up top the mountain... Honestly, would my cigarette smoke really upset the clear skies around the observatory? Baffled, and still without coffee was I...

Another fabulous drive upwards was then graced with these view - bear in mind the camera lies its derrière off in trying to give a sense of scale here..:

Towards Mt Cook; my lack of playing tourist leads me to admitting not to know if it is even visible here...

This is pretty close to what the colour of the lake really is.

Once back in Tekapo I duly visited the Church of the Good Shephard:

Built from brick and oak, and if I remember rightly in 1935.

Lake Tekapo from inside the church.

Then returned to the peace and quiet (insert sad-face emoticon here, and decidedly avoid mentioning the Albat... Stop, now...) of the hostel. Sitting in the lounge I was only reminded of the hostel-that-shall-not-be-named when another previous guest of the Albatross (ok, I can now speak of it without tears...) came in; a Kiwi who had joined is in Kaikoura for one night only. I begged him to say how he managed to escape, and heard something about 'rugby' and 'favourite team playing' whilst he spoke, but my mind was recalling the tunes and words shared but a few nights ago... Goodness me, was it really that great...

I fed myself once more on pasta, tomato sauce and my latest discovered idea, borrowed from my little fishing sister: I grate a few carrots and cut up half a cabbage, keep this in a tupperware box in the fridge (or car boot in these alpine temperatures), then eat when hungry... This lasts a good few days, and with a bit of creativity (and ranch dressing) can become coleslaw, a sandwich accompaniment, or a fine side to my now ubiquitous pasta and tomato sauce.

Another day done, and another place visited. My time grows shorter, the miles becoming less... Tomorrow I head north once more, Christchurch in my sights, although the Banks peninsula is appealing to me... and I find myself searching the BBH website, desperately for a key word such as 'bohemian' or 'arty' or 'musical' in the hostel listings... I will find somewhere nice, I will meet more people. Of this I am certain... I make the effort - gone is my quiet side, the man who once desired a single room and peace - I was gifted my own room just last night as there were no dorm rooms left, but was no happy bunny... My own time was no fun, and I yearned for company and 'life...' but this is lacking somewhat here. Don't get me wrong, Tailor-made Tekapo really is a lovely hostel, but having touched the Golden Goose - or Golden Albatross - I am tainted by what once was... for those three brief yet so well filled days...

Enough of Albatrosses (Albatrii? Albatrodese?), my journey is onwards again...

I was rewarded for the cost of paying to reduce the insurance excess when a car in front chucked up a stone, perfectly aimed at the windscreen, leaving a telltale snowflake crack in my line of sight... Had this been my own car I would have found myself 'wowing' the air blue, but in all honesty my very first reaction was a smile which reflected $96 very well spent...

Tekapo and this area is simply stunning. The sky was so blue - turned bluer with my verbal amazement - the lakes amazing, the snow stunning, and I do not regret coming to see this part of the country... NZ continues to amaze me, I nothing but the greatest of ways...

Next, who knows...

Ciao for now...

Stuck...

Stuck...

But in a really good way eh...

I spent a couple of weeks back with Annie and family near Havelock, recovering from fishing. This was mostly achieved by doing little, with the exception of one day working for Hamish, and a few babysitting evenings. I still can't shake the part of me that simply wakes around six or half six every morning, but this has been quite a fine way to start the days... I have accompanied my morning coffee with some fine sunrises; central Hawkes Bay, Hohepa, Bay of Islands, out at sea, Marlborough Sounds - with plenty of mist and fog - and have really appreciated these moments to myself... caffeine, crisp mornings, and the sound of - well, not much beyond birds really...

I collected my hire car on Thursday and headed down to Kaikoura, checked into the Albatross backpackers for a night, maybe two... Ahem... tonight will be my third here, I just seemed to join the others here who also came for the one, perhaps two nights but have ended up staying for three or more - weeks in some cases... It's a fine hostel, relaxed, musical, shared meals, creative; we are encouraged to create paintings, drawings and other pieces to leave as testimony of our visits... On Thursday I contemplated heading south on Friday, yesterday I was certain I would be heading towards Tekapo today, now I am completely definite I will check out tomorrow... No, really, I have limited time to get around, so am moving on again...

Friday morning, with the ubiquitous rise at six, I headed to the point to watch the sunrise, sadly without coffee, but was rewarded with a fine display...

Just before sunrise, the sky at it's best

Looking towards Kaikoura... the mountains don't look it, but they rise to 2,600metres...

I walked out to the point, with plans to complete the peninsular walk... but finding myself walking groomed pathways on the cliff top, I soon decided to return to the beach, to wander the rocks and sands, searching out shells and driftwood... I cannot sacrifice time on a beach for a walk accompanied with an elevated view of the sea, the sands and pebbles have an irrevocable draw on me. At one point I was taking a picture of some ducks in a pool by the sea, when a seal pup popped up into frame; quite a surprise...

I sure ain't no duckling...

"Lazing on a sunny afternoo...oon"

So, complete with a bag full of driftwood and shells, I returned to the hostel, then a drive to visit some seal pups who have found their way upstream into the bush, at Ohau Falls; a very strange sight to be walking through the trees to discover them lazing about amongst the roots, and playfully splashing around a waterfall and pool...

"whatcha mean, out of place..."

Just another strange thing to be witnessed in this remarkable, yet still very wonky, country...

Last night the winds got up and played havoc with a variety of doors, shutters and garden furniture, waking me a little earlier even than my usual rise time. And just to ensure I didn't return to sleep, the town fire alarm went off just half past too-damn-early... For those of you who are not privy to the workings of the Kiwi volunteer fire service, they use something akin to air-raid sirens to rouse the willing firefighters; notices around the hostel advise guests not to panic or imagine a tsunami or earthquake heading our way upon hearing this.

Albatross lounge; art, music, great chat, great people...

I spent all three nights playing a fair bit, with some fine musicians...

Despite my desire to remain here an extra night, today was slightly bound by non-starters... The winery we chose to visit was closed; the track we walked briefly was devoid of view, and the fine fish van near the point was not closed - it was simply not there... but hey, I have grown used to these Kiwi occurrences, and appreciate that life here does not necessarily stick to the written plan... this has rubbed off on me, and I too find myself travelling without much of a plan. I have referred to my travel plans more like sketches - I am heading in this general direction and will stop wherever takes my fancy and, as my current location shows, for however long takes my fancy... I will return the hire car next Friday, so am rubbing out and re-sketching my plans on a daily, sometimes hourly basis, which at this point has been more about unticking possible places to visit as I find myself happily ensconced in this fine hostel. I could quite easily remain here until Friday, and would enjoy the company, the socialising and the weather, which up to now has completely defied my belief that I am in the southern hemisphere heading rapidly towards the depths of winter... If I am honest, today felt pretty much as good as a fine day in July at home, making my oft used statement regarding this country as wonky holding more truth as the days and weeks pass by.

But I am moving on once more... Despite enjoying this place very much, I would regret missing out on some more of the scenery out here while I have the opportunity... Tomorrow I am heading towards Tekapo... I use the term "towards" with good reason - as I write this I am sharing in a conversation with another traveller who has not anticipated the truths involved in driving around the South Island in winter... When the snow comes, the roads close... When it's cold, the roads are icy, perhaps some pea gravel is scattered on the worse bits, but none of the gritting or salting we are used to in the UK. So, heading towards a destination implies that I may have to re-sketch en route if the weather does a u-turn on the forecast... I intend to stay in Tekapo for two nights, with the weather forecast implying that snow is due late Tuesday, but given that the weather follows the notion of sticking to it's plan in the same way that the winery and fish van stick to their opening hours, I may find myself "heading" somewhere else at any point...

And now I will enjoy my last night in this fine establishment, I have left my mark here - a driftwood hanging decoration, the remnants of the tunes played echoing through the walls, and a final snoopy piece yet to materialise... 

Yeah, it doesn't really hang sideways, my replacement camera won't swing the pictures round...

As I now carefully prepare to extricate myself from the Albatross Backpackers, I leave a few days of fine holiday, fine people, and fine scenery... I don't know what to expect from Tekapo, if indeed I get there... I am giving a lift to the hostel manager's mum, who - as I found out on my first night - is from Wakefield of all places. It will be nice to have company... the drive is estimated to be five and a half hours...

So, til next I write, from wherever the road takes me or the weather denotes, ciao...